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Where do the hedge fund guys hang out? I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Your offer, from the perspective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a gay torrance toilet business deal. Cutting through all the B.

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Fine, simple. So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset.

Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Then the fade begins in earnest.

By 35 stick a fork in you! So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. It currently has over 20, active members across countries ranging from the US and Australia to the Solomon Islands and of course, Ireland.

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Although the main focus of the site is single men looking for marriage materialthere is a smaller section for women seeking men. Female users are said to be marriage-minded women seeking to meet interesting single men from Western countries.

Image: Getty. With all of the different cultures to choose from, why should you pick an Irish groom? Because of their chat, of course!

And, of course, the Irish accent receives a special mention. Testimonials from the site tell of users traveling from the US to as far Uzbekistan to meet the men and women of their dreams.